I appreciate the effort and exciting anticipation behind old favorite Coach when they put out something different, but the mix of high saturated colours in their new Hamptons Weekend Patchwork makes me think it was made for clowns, not fashionistas—maybe not even the typical teenage girl!

Featuring far too much going on with all those dark, spotlight-steal-attempting, shades the new Hamptons Weekend Satchel shape is at least something nice. I love that Coach keeps introducing new satchels, my favorite style by far. Another new detail is the hang tags with circular “splotches” of a contrasting colour - although I’m not sure why that’s necessary.

It’s your typical new Spring’s approaching attempt at cheer from Coach, but more. They simply went too far.

The Hamptons Weekend Satchel is sized 13″ x 7″ x 7″ and won’t be setting me back $288.

Popularity: 43% [?]

There is a new “independent designer” out there, but really, the company’s neither. Kgadi (pronounced “hattie”) makes simple drawstring bags with NBA (that’s basketball, ladies) logos on them. Uh wha? Handbags are for women, stylish women—most of them. This is for men (but not) or seriously tom-women or well, women who don’t care.

I guess this is one way for fangirls to “sport” logos, if not into designer? Nah, not really though, because the people who might be attracted to such things will not pay (and shouldn’t) the pricepoint of $110.

Nope, not hearing a swoosh

Popularity: 11% [?]

Polka dots make me happy, and that is the feel of Dooney & Bourke’s new “Mini Bubble” collection. In their classic shapes, they’ve miniaturized their “Bubble” circle logo and put them on different colours such as cream/black, sky, cocoa, multi (pictured) and more.

The mini bubble is cute and depending on colour can suit any age. It’s not in-your-face or tacky, no these tiny bubbles are just fine.

Popularity: 20% [?]

From resort right through Spring and Summer, Burberry offers a cute little (well, big) plaid check satchel with white leather trim and rope detail. Measuring 14″ x 8″ x 7″ with shoulder handles, the breezy beauty plops down on the counter with a large $890 pricetag. But it’s so worth it with the details including others such as bias check print and three outer pockets. This cute bag isn’t a practical steal, but it’s luxe and fun.

Popularity: 22% [?]